Day 18 - Still Going

308 lbs, 11 lbs lost

Now we're getting to the hard part.  The momentum of a fresh start is wearing off and the uphill climb is beginning.  I am trying to keep my mind up so this journey seems like something I want to do, not punishment, but it's not easy.  I would love to hear from anyone reading about where you may be on a similar journey.

Here's what I've been doing:

• Switched to a different food & exercise tracker.  It was knocking me off track that the one on WebMD did not have an app so I could update from my phone or tablet.  I have switched to MyFitnessPal which can be updated on phone, tablet or computer.  I just started today so we'll see how that goes.  Tracking is CRUCIAL.
• Tried a new cabbage recipe which is a big deal since I am not a big cabbage lover.   (1 t. olive oil, 2 T. bacon bits, 2 T lemon juice, 1 T. worcestershire, 1/4 t. salt, 1/4 t. pepper, 1 Cabbage, quartered, individually wrapped. Bake at 425 degrees for 20-30 minutes)
• Walking or exercising with the Wii at least 4x per week.
• Watching the old series "Ruby" on Netflix to keep myself motivated.  If you are not familiar, it was a cable reality show about a woman who started at 500 lbs. trying to lose 250 of it.

Challenges:

• Nighttime eating is still a challenge.  Frequency is the same, but what I eat is better.  I go to bed at around 9 p.m. with the intention of watching TV or playing on my tablet for a couple of hours.  From 9 pm - midnight, I get up to eat at least 4 times.  I have been much better at eating fruit, hummus on a rice cake, etc rather than 4 Hawaiian rolls slathered with butter for just one of the trips.  Maybe I could try this week to get up only 3 times.  I continue to talk to myself about the fact that my subconcious does not need to rebel at night.  This is what I want to do.
• Still a challenge to eat more calories early in the day, but I only skipped breakfast once this past week so good on that.
• The big challenge is thinking this is what I want to eat because it isn't.  I went out to eat to a beautiful Asian restaurant and had delicious and beautifully presented veggies, but was hungry within an hour of when I got home.  I still dream of cheese even though my gut feels so much better without it.  There is a "satisfaction" factor that does not come from a big pile of celery even though one may be "full."
• Eleven pounds is a lot to lose but my clothes do not feel significantly looser because I had gotten so big, even my "big" clothes were getting tight.

So, let me repeat my reasons for this journey to motivate myself, and maybe even add a couple:

1. I desperately want to look better. Honestly, that is more important to me than my health. I would like to end up looking something on the order of Christine Lagarde, head of the IMF International Monetary Fund.  Her way of dressing is just my style.
2. I want to run and play full tilt with my six exceptional granddaughters.
3. I want my recently replaced knees to last longer.
4. I want to travel more comfortably and be confident I can conquer challenging terrain like Machu Pichu.

Well, that's it for today.  Onward & upward (I mean downward!)
Paula

Day 10 - Progress Being Made

9 lbs lost - 310 lbs.

So far, so good!  The fact that I haven't quit yet tells me that I really want this.  Haven't written for awhile because of a big work project.  I am a textile artist and I am working on a commisioned quilt. The longer it takes to make, the longer til I get paid!

Here are some things I've been doing to keep my motivation up:

• Started walking with Mitchell the Dog.  We go one driveway farther every day.  Today we are up to "two driveways past the corner."  I am so grateful to have had both knees replaced December 6 a year ago.  Now I can really power walk and it helps to stretch my back out from the quilt stitching.
• Made homemade hummus in the blender from a recipe I found on Pinterest. It was a little bland because I used the bottom of the range of spices (as suggested) but a good place to start.  I love hummus and this recipe made twice as much out of one can of chickpeas as you get in a $4.00 container at the store.
• Turned a corner on my nighttime eating habit.  Was watching Dr. Phil for entertainment while I worked on the quilt the other day and a woman was on who ate in her sleep.  After years of doctors and therapists suggesting that my nocturnal eating was a result of trauma early in my adult life, Dr. Phil suggested that the woman's subconscious was merely rebelling against food restrictions she placed on herself during the day.  Given the fact that I started restricting my food severely when I was in high school, and until I started this new life style ten days ago often did not eat at all until afternoon, I thought this could be true for me.  I had a talk with my "self" about how much I really do want to change my life, and have been having much less trouble ever since.
• Added a resource page to this blog.  Look for the tab at the top of the page. Will contain a summary of resources I mention along the way.

So, how do I feel oat this point on the journey? I feel encouraged that I am losing.  I am not thrilled to not being eating pizza, but I want to shed this fat really badly.  I feel grateful to have the space in my life to do this. Onward & upward!

Day Two - Baby Steps

Holding at 316. 3 lb loss.

I woke up this morning pretty discouraged because of my nighttime eating.  It seems that I hold on, hold on, eating fruits and veggies until about midnight when all self control goes out the window.  In fact, I wake myself up to eat.  Last night it was ice cream and cornbread.  So...

This morning the remaining ice cream is going in the trash.  I put the actuals of what I ate in my tracker and my mood improved.  Instead of pushing my daily total to the 3600 calorie range as I used to do, I ended up in the 2200 calorie range yesterday.  I did make the choice to use a small bowl for the ice cream.  I did make the choice to not slather the cornbread with butter.  I AM IMPROVING.  2200 is not weight loss range but it is not constant increase range either.  I would like to relax into this, but turning this ship around really is a battle.

Resource of the day:
Blog by a young woman who has been at this for awhile and has lots of links to good stuff - http://skinnyemmie.com. 

Have a great Thursday!