Ready to Begin

It is New Year's Eve 2012 and I am ready to begin my new life tomorrow.  Buoyed by my success at quitting smoking 6 years ago tomorrow, I am ready to begin my march to 100 lbs lost by this time next year.  Starting at 318 lbs.

Preparations made:
1. Visited nutritionist.
2. Prepared a meal plan for first week.
3. Tried out food & fitness tracking system on WebMd.
4. Got this blog going.
5.  Set up Jenny McCarthy exercise system on my new pawn shop Wii (thanks Jordan!)
6.  Praying for God's help and strength!

Watched a Netflix video called, "Fat, Sick, and Almost Dead."  The title pretty much describes my physical condition, but not my mental.  The guy in the film kicked off his road to recovery with 60 days of veggie/fruit juice only, 3x a day.  I tried to look up the juice recipe on the film's website, but there is something wrong with it. I could do juice maybe for breakfast or a snack. I am not going to do it entirely right now.  The inspiring part of the movie was that the first guy got a truck driver to do it with him and that guy really racked up changes in his life.  Worth watching if you are in need of a boost.

I am attaching my beginning profile photos.  What it is, is what it is!

Planning, planning

For about a week now, I have been recording my food and exercise on WebMd. (http://www.webmd.com/diet/food-fitness-planner).  I am still in the preparation phase for my Jan 1 start date so I have not changed my eating patterns.  WebMD recommends that if I want to lose 100 lbs. in the next year I should take in 1740 calories and do at least 250 calories in exercise. Thankfully at this hard to exercise time of year in Minnesota, driving a car is about 300 calories an hour. Throw in four granddaughters under 10 years old and I KNOW it is worth 300 calories.

On most days I have been going over by 1000-2000 calories. Good to know. I also have a very hard time getting in 2 veggies & 2 fruits, like have not made it yet. I have also not made the required 8 glasses of water yet, and I thought I was drinking a lot of water.  Now, I have started menu planning.  Joan the nutritionist from the Emily Program gave me a chart of food groups to get in so I am slotting that into an excel spreadsheet, then I will match those food groups to actual menu items.  I want to have all my food planned and in the house for at least the first month so I don't have to think about it.

Here is a photo of chicken kabobs that will be good for the New Me.  We made them on a family camping trip last summer.  Just chicken breast, red peppers, yellow peppers, mushrooms, onions, sprinkled with lemon juice.  Yum!

Joan the Dietitian

Today I went to see Joan the Dietitian at the Emily Program.  I love Joan.  Whatever my goals are, she enthusiasticly jumps on board, sprinkling in some realism and room for ease along the way.  She was happy to hear that I have a food tracker, they are big on that at the Emily Program. She was concerned that I have a place to journal my food feelings so I told her about this blog.  I am supposed to print out my posts and bring to our next appointment.  I left with a bunch of reference material to read.  In typical Paula fashion, I found a three-ring BINDER this afternoon which will soon be made into my NEW ME binder where I can keep Joan's stuff, recipes, articles, etc.

How do I feel about food right now?  I have trouble getting in all the servings of fruit and vegetables I am supposed to eat in a day which is only two fruit and two veggie right now.  I am trying to ramp up to start day by practicing getting all the food IN before I worry about what needs to come OFF my food list. I feel ANXIOUS. 

Last night was a disaster for night eating.  BIG bowl of ice cream and three flour tortilla shells loaded with butter.  That nighttime compulsive eating is what I am putting to the Lord starting now.

My other progress step is that I have kinda sorta figured out how to search out other blogs of interest and subscribe to them on my "dashboard." There are lots of other folks with weight loss blogs who might have clues I can use.

If I sound fanatical about this, I am.  I am going to war and I am preparing myself. 

Put on the full armor of the Lord...

Progress on Preparations

I wasn't going to write today, but significant progress on preparations has been made.

1.  Scheduled appointment for tomorrow with Joan the registered dietitian at the Emily Program.  The Emily Program is an eating disorders clinic to which I was referred by my main therapist.  I like the professionals there, all warm and capable women, but I still do not feel I have an eating disorder.  I do feel that I have issues around eating and that my eating is wildly out of control.  Is that the definition of disorder?  LOL.

2.  Daughter suggested a Food and Fitness Planner/Tracker she found at WebMD.com. I have always found that website to be clear and helpful so I tried it tonight and I like the tracker tool.  Input your food and it also tracks, fiber, cholesterol, protein, sodium, etc.

 Photo at 19 yrs old. Obviously won't be going back there, but you can see that I really do have bones in my face.
More tomorrow after mtg with Joan!

Night Eating

As I prepare for the "switchover" as I call it in my head, the change in habits that will accompany my new life style and weight loss, I am starting to plan for obstacles that I know will come up.  The most important of these is coming up with a plan to deal with my nighttime eating.

I have been eating at night for more than 20 years.  Maybe it started with the trauma of abusive relationships.  Some doctors call it a sleep disorder, others an eating disorder.  I eat not enough during the day and then start eating everything that is not nailed down at about 9 p.m.  I used to actually eat in my sleep, now I am mostly awake.  Sometimes I wake myself up to eat for the first couple of hours after I go down.  I will eat anything, but especially things that are easy to eat.  I go for high fat items first like cheese and peanut butter. I can eat a small jar of peanut butter in one sitting with a spoon.  Just this week I ate an 8 oz bag of shredded cheese in bed.  I would never eat this stuff in the daytime.

I see a nutritionist who has suggested that I aim for eating breakfast by 10:00 a.m. as a first step towards getting more calories in during the day.  This has proven to be surprisingly difficult.  Excuses include not being hungry, just wanting to drink coffee, and wanting to get straight to work.  I intend to keep working on this.

Another suggestion has been to take my prescribed sleep aid early.  Try to sleep earlier to avoid eating.  I have been trying to take my sleeping pill by 11 p.m. which is 1-2 hours earlier than I used to take it.

I am really worried about this eating at night business saboutaging my entire plan but all I can do is bring the power of prayer up against it.  I don't really think it is a disorder, just a really deeply ingrained habit, and as such, I can break it just like I quit smoking.

Current Action Steps:
1.  Eat breakfast by 10 a.m.
2.  Take sleeping pill by 11 p.m.

Goal for Tomorrow:
1.  Make appointment with Joan the nutritionist to lay out Month 1 eating plan.

Losing 100 lbs. in 2013!

This is my first blog post ever.  My plan is to document the course of losing 100 lbs.  over the course of the next year, or longer.  In this blog, I plan to be brutally honest about my feelings, motivations and potential failings.  I am starting to write now in early December 2012 because I am starting to lay strategies in place and working to get my mind right for the big day of beginning a total life style change.  I welcome readers' encouragement and good ideas.  Join with me if you like, but no whining allowed.

To introduce myself, I am a 55 year old woman of God.  I am 5'9"tall and weigh approximately 320 lbs.  I have been overweight since I had three children in my early twenties with the weight progressively increasing even until now.  I have tried to lose weight intermittently, the most successful recent effort occurring in 2006 when I lost 60 lbs for my son's wedding by following a Weight Watcher's most restrictive diet plan, primarily chicken breast, veggies and brown rice, and riding my bike.  After the wedding, the weight came right back.

In a future post, I will address some of the issues that contribute to my obesity, but today I would like to focus on positive reasons for goal setting at this time. 
A.  I successfully quit smoking on January 1, 2007 so I feel that January 1 is a success day for me.
B.  I desperately want to look better.  Honestly, that is more important to me than my health.
C.  I want to run and play full tilt with my six exceptional granddaughters.

I anticipate the same issues with this program as the normal person would have.  I am a busy person, working as a textile artist from my home (http://www.etsy.com/shop/lydiaproject).  I like to eat, especially fats and starches and cheese.  Not so much on the sweets.  My eating schedule is very irratic.  I do not exercise at all, unless you consider the one block I had to walk this morning from a parking place to a meeting which really irritated me.

That's enough for day.  If you come from the outside world to read this and it strikes a chord, please leave a brief message so I know you are there and I can pray for you.

Peace!
Paula